Rough pass at the next two…

Let's seeeee … you got me talking about Norse mythology … let's look at some Viking sh$t. Apparently, Vikings were knee-deep in dragons. They sailed … f$&king … dragonships!

The dragonhead(s) carved into the stem of these large longships were said to offer protection from evil spirits while at sea. Such power was possessed by these drakes that the Icelandic code of the time, Grágás, bade the Vikings remove any such dragonhead upon their return so as not to intimidate the spirits of their native land.

The three carved heads on the ship above identify the bow-based bulwark as a dragon named Zmey Gorynych, let's gallantly gallivant into Garðaríki for a formal introduction.

Garðaríki, by the way, is Old Norse for Kievan Rus'. The Garðar were the Rus' people, Norsemen that had decided to pop on over and take up ruling the river routes between the Baltic and the Black Seas. You zmey have deduced from all those f$&king letter 'Y's, we're in Russian folklore territory.

The first western dragon we've looked at, Zmey was all about the bylina (Russian heroic poetry). Totally tracks that he would frequently transform himself into a handsome youth to engage in the art of seduction.

Don't let his pervish proclivities prevaricate (yeeesss … I f$&king see the problem … but WordHippo sticks that sh$t in my head … and I can avoid alliteration like Murphy can avoid running head first into a thumpish engagment with the thick, full-length windows that monopolize wall space around here when she's so f$&king excited she can take no more), Zmey is a proper red-scaled, fire-breathing dragon and rumor has it that this little f$&ker would even go all eclipsical from time to time by taking a bite out of the f$&king sun.