You see here, #Mastodon? This is why you can't have nice things.

When it's time to get up but you just don't wanna move.

#GodBlessGabler

What you get in the Micro.blog Timeline versus what you get if you decide to load my post or you're on a platform targeted for cross-posts (Mastodon probably still shitting the preview card bed; but, the others oughta be similar to this card in Apple Messages):

When the cure is worse than the disease (the kissy smacking is a reflex (apparently)). #bully #dog #doglove #cutedog #critters #happy

Wrong again, f$&kers.

Third party tone auditors should totally be a thing, someone possessing zero voice familiarity with the couple captured on audio providing an analytical breakdown of perceived tone modulations by each party along with a generalized vibe assessment.

Close but no cigar, @NickKristof. You are still turning over symptoms. America is still feverish because of the underlying disease:

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

#LastYearToday

When you're dictating a text while walking Kota and the conversation with the passing leash-free Collie sporting couple is injected instead of the intended word correction. Shame it failed to pick up the trailing bit of awkwardness: "…afraid he'd maul … or, not maul, but…".

How about a dog training collar attachment that emits a training treat upon recognizing a "good boy/girl" waveform (or one of those stupid clickers). The pain in the ass is preparedness and reaction time.

In case y'all don't speak eye language, what Kota says here is "bring on the Buckeyes, bitches." #GoDawgs #SicEm #WoofWoofWoofWoofWoof

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

Okay, where are the MagSafe head mounts so I can capture my walks with Kota sans the trampling of innocents?

Tonight's new pose

How TF is nobody making dog leashes and tie downs out of kevlar?

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

When you're all, on the one hand, I could totally turn Kota into a TikTok star… but on the other hand you're all, read my illustrated philosociopolitical essays goddammit.

I mean…