Pretty sure it is impossible to say “all things considered” without lying or lacking imagination to such a degree as to permanently bunk with the bless-your-heart bunch.

When you’ve put it in park caddy cornered across Oregon Expressway in order to hop out into the opposing two lanes of traffic to block for the little French Bulldog shooting straight for El Camino Real, paws pounding asphalt with everything he’s got, as if the crosswalk ahead were bookended by pylons… and you’ve done this 37 days after dropping 13K to repair the damn thing ‘cause Elon’s fucking cars are as fragile as his ego.

Y’all just wait for the shitshow ‘bout to start now we’ve politics-as-usualed this motherfucker for two years and our AG ceded constitutional care to fifty individual secretaries of state.

At some point, I may need to know how far in advance MST3K has been plot planning… so I can assess the brilliance of calling back the-mads-don’t-hear-rhyme in season 13’s The Bubble.

When it takes a good five minutes to recall the meaning of your own words. (In this case, every time the wind would blow one of my cameras would swear it saw someone or something. I was giving it shit until I thought I saw someone or something out the corner of my eye… but it was the wind.)

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

How shit got handled before Twitter

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

When all the animals are gone, man shall die of loneliness
Unless, before the day doth come, man hath devolved from phoniness

I just realized how many brainy but familiar proper nouns, the relations for which I’ve forgotten, I may muster… and that all those relations I’ve forgotten matter not in the slightest. With punchy language (make-up-ur-mind chars or less), what thoughts might I incept in our Post-News First World?

The word substitution I'm totally claiming as pre-Kota-class progress this morning:

…

What follows is the progress made on the rewrite of an essay from February 2021 that, once completed, shall comprise the book explaining all the sh$t some other f$&ker really oughta have figured out by now. Be better American intellectuals.

On Dragon Weaving

What I Suppose We'd Call the Preamble

Honestly, I haven't a clue why, in February of last year, I found myself pondering the web of dragon mythology that so ensnares the imagination of man. Of how the machinations of my mind materialized the path it would then travel, I've an even clumsier grasp. I believe there is something significant to be found within the folds of fumbled expression held by the essay I had composed. Now, a year later (finding myself in possession of more diversely and formidably equipped faculties), I shall recompose its art and prose, hoping to attain a composition that more capably communicates that which I have to say. It shall begin with a declaration. It shall end with an appeal. Two waypoints shall lie between the beginning and the ending. With a little luck, journey's end shall bring clarity to the both of us as to how and why the path was chosen.

Read More

You won’t have listened to the song… either of those times I linked it. We’ll go over what it all means once the fallout settles. This will be what we said.

Could we maybe stop leaning into the stupid by consistently prefacing common sense with “everyone agrees that what happened on October 7th was horrific”?

Ever fumble the ball just before making it into the end zone? You have now. Your multicultural democracy was within reach. Gen X teed that shit up for you in the ‘90s. The Boomers taught us how to do it. You never saw that fucker’s fist coming to pop that ball out, did you? What the fuck we gotta do to ensure three-points-of-contact are maintained by our ball carriers? This is goddamn fundamental. Your lead blocker Print being pancaked was a challenge, sure… but Social Media lit your ass up—stepped on your face with a hobnail boot and broke your nose. So, now the ball’s out. Adjustments must be made addressing this mismatch; but, what are doing, now? The play’s not over. Loose ball fucker.

… this will be what we say

Apple still refuses to write a shuffle algorithm that fucking shuffles; but this one is worth repeating

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Middle school ☾𐂂

… You don’t have to follow me. Only you can set you free

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

Elementary school ☾𐂂

#NostalgicNuggs

High school ☾𐂂

Raise your hand if you find me antisemitic. I bet we could make an interesting conversation.