When you create an iOS shortcut just for fetching the list of sh$t you tweeted precisely a year ago.

Guess I oughta postify my canned messages (these are Twitter facing if you're reading this elsewhere) and give the post some fancy cardification art.

When you find yourself worried about that little spider perched in the corner pervishly watching you shower, hoping that come Friday, he/she makes his/herself scarce so as not to be struck down in cold blood by the otherwise super nice cleaning ladies when they visit.

If, while reading (or looking … come to think of it) at something I've created, you find the core of the thing dense … perhaps difficult to understand … don't be intimidated.

This is normal.

It was created for me with baked in expectation that I avail myself for guided tour.

When halfway through the workout, UR asked what UV been working on & U end up trying 2 reduce a volume's worth of non-indigenous sociopolitical theory N2 a digestible bite that must begin w/ an introductory overview of the Q Shaman (complete with his present mortal status).

First time a recruiter reached out for a position that wasn't targeting my computer science degree. Perhaps the profile update for the LinkedIn account I've touched twice in f$&k-if-I-know years is starting to take.

With all due respect mister @JoeNBC, you oughta f$&kin' read this:

When you tell your oven to get its sh$t together and roll the dice on preparing some chicken nuggets for Murphy.

When your oven freaks the f$&k out, lights your mac 'n' cheese on fire, and then tries to nonchalantly tell you to "call service" 'cause the temperature exceeded its f$&king limit.

When you play will-the-rest-of-the-can-fit-in-the-glass roulette and you win.

Bizarre bot account

The one that comes at the American media establishment all ୧༼ಠ益ಠ╭∩╮༽

When life gives you lemons … and … honestly … you haven't ever found lemonade to be all that thrilling.

Bee tee dubs, it still kills me … having to disown Herschel.

This probably helps a little:

Ok … whatever … so I want to replace my waft/weft diagram with some proper art … now I'm kinda set on working Jacquard loom reference into the rewrite. F$&ker created a format for interesting bit I/O after all.

Well, @DomainJulian, I grabbed a pastels brushset to play with for the last three pieces I needed for the rewrite of my dragon essay. Now I just need to rewrite the thing and then figure out into what print media format Imma shove the four essays (with 60+ digital art pieces).

In case anyone is curious about how much resolution gimping is being done by all these platforms to which all this digital art is being uploaded. Here's what zooming all the way in within the Photos app on my iPad looks like:

I see the pundits have us humming along that track I spent last year trying to convince them to avoid (they don't read). Fingers-f$&king-crossed I'm wrong … and also that the coming train wreck shakes some f$&kers off the impotent act of tossing precedents at the unprecedented.

Watching the Cawthorne race won't tell you jackshit about Trump's hold on the party.

There is no head on this particular snake. Wish y'all Beltway f$&kers got this much, at least. The f$&king machine is autonomous.

Not to ruffle feathers … but … say I decided to give you experimental without any pushback … that which we're injecting ourselves with would still fit the definition for a vaccine.

Would you be happier if we called it an experimental vaccine? And, how long must we experiment?

You're gonna need to start merging them bubbles, @MsLaToshaBrown, before any approach involving direct action will have a hope in hell of moving the needle fixed by our bifurcated reality.

Could have f$&kin' sworn that movie was called The Last Electric Dragon.

I wonder if any of the Romance languages will ever evolve to become non-binary.

What has two thumbs, big ideas as to just what the fuck has gone wrong on a global scale, and zero fucking reach?

Save @AliVelshi