Bee tee dubs, it's crazy, when I look at tweets for #LastYearToday, seeing how many of y'all f$&kers ended up blocking me for whatever f$&king reason (side note: if I can't recall the interaction, blocking was the wrong move. Mute and move on. I'm not even looking at you).

I wonder what I'd do if I applied myself.

Okay … whatever … that last one should've read #LastYearYesterday. The takeaway here is that I said everything that needed saying last f$&king year before the last smidge of hope I'd held onto that @Twitter could be more than a delivery vehicle for captive audiences evaporated.

#LastYearToday

Side note: got something for ya @TwitterSupport

┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ)

When you realize you've just established a new greatest-generational-gap-moment-between-yourself-and-another-adult 'cause your trainer asked about concerts you'd attended, you told him you saw #TheGratefulDead five times before Jerry died, to which he replied, "who is that?"

#GolfClubs #NowIGotsEmBeetches

When you find yourself fantasizing as you're brushing your teeth that your uncanny ability to pick up golf at the age of forty four (having been pressed into the exercise by the nice lady that employs your personal trainers) has precipitated your unusual entry into random-open-tourney-goes-here, which inevitably leads to your being posed a question live on television by random-sports-correspondent-goes-here. The question posed is random-why-get-into-golf-question-goes-here and you answer all:

I'm glad you asked. I got into golf because I wanted to draw attention to how the bifurcation of America's information ecosystem (social media supplanting print media being the bifurcational catalyst) has so segregated our propaganda (both good and bad faith varieties) from its counter-propaganda (both good and bad faith varieties) that we now live beneath a dual reality democracy.

Such a democracy shall never know civil discourse, for the aim of such discourse is the acquisition of common ground. There are but two requirements that are absolute when considering the success of such an engagement. The first is that those convening do so in good faith. Whether our leaders have done so is irrelevant, technically it remains a possibility for them to do so beneath a dual reality democracy.

It's the second requirement that shall inevitably cause the American experiment to fail beneath a dual reality democracy. Common ground may only be found amongst those that share a common reality.

Everything about civil society requires a shared reality. Everything within civil society devolves without one. It's kinda fuckin' important that those who presume to lead begin to understand the unprecedented context within which they must do so. I took up golf so I might let y'all know.

Then, noticing the dumbfounded (or possibly glazed over) expression on the face of random-sports-correspondent-goes-here, I figure I oughta wrap it up (#ADHD) and bounce. So, I'm all:

It's a lot to wrap the head around. I get it. If anyone watching, or you, yourself, should ever find themselves interested in just such wrapping, check out some of the shit I've written. Some of the shit I've written is kinda fuckin' stellar.

Watching the replay of yesterday's #January6thCommitteeHearings, these @MSNBC journalists and pundits be acting like everything before the first recess wasn't something we f$&king knew on January f$&king 6th.

Were this true, @DNC, you'd do me the courtesy of reading what it is I have to say.

#Pfft

Side note: I don't mind mentions, if you want my attention.

I thought of doing an essay on the broken bits of Twitter's platform (the censorship scale to followers count, the rampant abuse of reporting (with copy/paste appeal judgements), merritless (yet privileged) verification); but, no one would read it (least of all @TwitterSupport).

Anyone who thinks vaping nicotine is as damaging as smoking it hasn't the first f$&king clue what a circuit including both med ball slams and the battle rope would have done to my body's oxygen level had I not traded smoke for vapor fifteen years ago—so, suck on that.

ヽ( •_)ᕗ

The theme of today's workout wardrobe is wrinkled 'n' relevant. #January6thCommitteeHearings

That don't seem right.

#Placation

Anyone got data on gun deaths (say for 2020 or 2021) that theoretically may have been prevented were the measures enacted by the bill Biden signed already active?

#LastYearToday

#FuckYouTwoTimes @TwitterSupport

#LastYearToday

#FuckYou @TwitterSupport

'Cause I'm going going back back to…

If I wanted to burn the house down (she doesn't get my humour). Just typing this for the screenshot made me a little nervous.

At some point, it may become more remarkable to have our meteorologists mention surprisingly average temperatures rather than record highs and lows.

Jolene … FFS … it was Jolene.

The mind mashup while preparing Murphy's meds (these usually kick off with lyrics improvised out of the medication names in the mode of Weird Al): �—The World is a Vampire—Crucify (where � is that little hussy who took @DollyParton's man whose name sure as sh$t ain't Nadine).