Listen … morning shows … kinda feels like there oughta be stuff out there in the middle ground, between violent f$&king insurrection and the g0dd@mn fall of Choco Taco. Find it … start showing it to me … or my morning goto officially becomes MTV's Ridiculousness.

When you're listening to them peel off the first layer of the onion on #MorningJoe and they sound like they think they struck the core.

cc @JonLemire

Star Wars themed lyrical fart (to the tune of whatever was playing during the credits of episode five of #DarkWinds):

Heyyyyyyyyy
Hey where's that cat?
I say where's that cat at?
I said where's that cat in the at-at?

So sick of hearing y'all talk about the big lie when the f$&king problem is all the little ones that cultivated a dual f$&king reality.

There is something about the moment in the #Westworld intro where the player piano takes over for the artificial life form that had been playing it up to that point.

In case anyone reading this caught my latest #COVID related post and was left scratching their head over the reference.

You know you're getting old when you remember you liked rolling but you can't remember with what.

Feels like I oughta create an iOS shortcut for sharing some of the songs I'm listening to as they pop up in my ginormous nostalgic nuggs playlist.

Feels like I oughta spend more time doing laundry and less time digging shorts out of the hamper for my workout.

Flavors don't hook kids, marketing and access do. This whole make-it taste-like-shit-so-kids-won't-like-it antivape movement is horseshit. Y'all can make my juice taste like ass when I can make your alcohol taste like donkey dick.

cc @putmygamefaceon

Since @HawleyMO's fist pump made a cameo in the #January6thCommitteeHearings last night.

What if homosexuality was part of God's plan for addressing overpopulation and y'all bibleheads, like, totally f$&ked it up?

Also, there is one question that, given any context, may always be answered the same way. The question is, "How can you do that?" The answer is, "Practice."

Contradiction may rival pattern recognition for humanity's most significant attribute.

Y'all ever feel like maybe Justice oughtn't be blind?

It occurs to me that #COVID be runnin' around like it was #LadiesLoveCoolJames, flexin' on the mic all, "Don't call it a comeback, I been here for years."

When you're thinking on when to give Murphy her meds and your brain be composing a song like:

It'llllll
It'll be
IIt'll be Eeassierrrr
With herrrr
If we let 'er wake upp
Just a littlllle

Just wrapped my first trip to the driving range with my new clubs. Guess I golf now. Driving the ball over the safety net was the goal, right

Seems like more could have been done with regard to disambiguating the spelling of tear. Be better English language.

Bee tee dubs redux, progressive discontent is touched upon in this 'un:

Bee tee dubs, Biden not having particularly strong ties to his base is touched upon at the top of this fiery little f$&ker:

This thing where folks don't want Biden or Trump to run in 2024 is an example of how folks unacquainted with the mechanics of our dual reality democracy continue to believe the people are the problem, when, all along, the problem has been an exploited information ecosystem.

What's so bad about oxidants?

I wonder what the timetable would be for storing up bellybutton lint to fill a small pillow.

I'd have kept digging up last year's art as it was created for #LastYearToday but the age restriction labels are too annoying and @TwitterSupport is an #oxymoron.