Also bee tee dubs, this is a dual #DoubleDawg household that bleeds the red and black.

Bee tee dubs, this is why you don't get into the #CFP after losing your final game to Kansas State.

When the folks on the halftime show are saying "sure, they're usually a second half team… but that's not really realistic. What's really being established is the legacy of your team winning."

#IKnockOnWood4WhatAnnouncersSay

When your inner dialogue begins channeling A Bit of Frye and Laurie while sketching out the transcript for the new Kota video you want to make and you remember that the last 8 years have f$&kified folks' receptor capacity into a 59 sec video buffer. Eat a D Social Med.

Who's the mental giant behind all these "discontinued on account of increased production costs, don't delay" campaigns? The neural net lit up by the electricity you've elicited doesn't amount to "buy me," it amounts to "there's no demand for this horseshit you're trying to sell."

In my head, I may or may not let it out: On Cultivating Shared Reality Social Media Platforms.

Ain't no one beat the dawgs in 2022. Bring on MFin' TCU.

To be, or not to be… a Post. "Editor"

I'm old enough to remember when filming a video in portrait was faux-f$&king-pas.

Yo, video-based social media. If you're gonna hold us to 11 second bytes of licensed library music, how's about letting us add more than one per video. K thx.

When you're picking up some of those kids Kota's been dropping off in the woods and you're like: "Wow, the tactile characteristics of this icy excrement through the thin compostable plastic, it feels almost like it's making contact with bare skin." Then, you're like: "Goddammit."

Now if only TikTok and YouTube would let me upload from albums instead of forcing me to forever scroll my list of recent videos.

Exhibit A in the case of why Twitter blows (and those TikTokkers were listening to some French accordion swing on account of copyright shenanigans):

Once again, #Mastodon, this is why you can't have nice things. Are these limitations baked into the code or might a different server be more accommodating?

TikTok removed music I fucking licensed through Adobe Stock. Seriously, fuck social media.

Okay, science types, when Kota just stepped on (and lunged off of) my throat, why did it hurt all collapsish and, then, a few minutes later had degraded into just a bit sore-throatish? Did something get mushed out of place to slowly return or are the oh-shit signals dissipating?

#ContextIsKing

I always forget about my nuts.

Got a response from Twitter about my Musk era appeal. This here is grounds for the building of a class action lawsuit, were I still giving fucks (reminder, my grievous offence was calling Trump a pansy).

When the time it takes you to hit a large bucket of balls at the driving range has doubled because 80% of your drives spend 5+ seconds in the air and you've your eyes peeled trying to spot whether they've hit the back net (or upon which side of the back net they've landed).

Way to remind me that I don't have five friends, f$&kers.

I kinda wanna take all those size M shirts and repurpose them into the fabrication of a Kota-proof suit.

You see here, #Mastodon? This is why you can't have nice things.

#GodBlessGabler