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  • If I slipped away as I slept
    Having just good and properly wept
    It might just be nice
    To put me on ice
    Having realized I’d looked where I’d leapt

    8:49 AM, Jun 2, 2024
  • Mm sawree bowt it buddee but I had ta take abreak
    Myfuk kinhead iz writin’ country wisle mydykkit micturates

    4:38 PM, May 27, 2024
  • I will be okay
    When what’s locked away today
    Can come the fuck out

    3:20 PM, May 27, 2024
  • When there’s a haiku that is not worth mentioning stuck inside your head

    9:21 AM, Mar 16, 2024
  • There’s simplicity
    Where you see complexity
    And vice versa, bud

    6:30 AM, Mar 6, 2024
  • When all the animals are gone, man shall die of loneliness
    Unless, before the day doth come, man hath devolved from phoniness

    7:37 AM, Dec 27, 2023
  • There is a poetic fart with potential for expansion that’s ready to go pending the acquisition of a word rhyming with weird that is in the vicinity of meaning to be or arrive first #CommunalPoetry #FirewalkWithMe

    10:47 AM, Nov 24, 2023
  • #NotesOnAPoeticFart

    8:38 AM, Apr 29, 2023
  • Let's live our lives
    Before the ink dries
    And leaves us with nought but the nib

    8:17 AM, Apr 29, 2023
  • Oh, hiking boot, it's you alone
    
Supports me talofibular
    
When deep within a canyon grand
    While traipsing towards the river sand
    Past the cairns that mark the land
    You disallow contort unplanned
    
From rolling step off rounded stone
    T'would render ankle perpendicular

    9:16 AM, Feb 26, 2023
  • Okay, listen here, poetic fart, just stop it. Stop your imaginary roasting of someone too stupid to be friends with (that might otherwise have been a'ight) in the form of a country music song (because he don't read, but would he listen? I thought he might) … I will not type you.

    11:03 AM, Oct 26, 2022
  • Whoever stole those Halloween witches
    Making for an angry Mrs
    You lucky the doorbell faces sideways
    Else your ass be needing stitches

    7:36 AM, Oct 24, 2022
  • A Band-Aid handmaid in her teflon tank
    Bernie bros beside her having a wank
    Rose petal roundup riding the flank
    Hillbilly handlers staking the bank
    Captain America walking the plank
    Zeitgeist Zamboni resurfacing rank
    A generation now grown we were told not to spank
    Participation trophies honed into shanks
    At the Battle of the Bulge we waved our white Spanx
    We won't birth a new nation by firing blanks
    We are self righteous. We are ignorant. We write them all off as cranks
    Now please, bow your heads and let us give thanks

    7:33 PM, Sep 25, 2022
  • If you don't love Love
    Then you don't know Love
    Or Love does not know you
    The way you do
    (That or it's quite possible you came equipped, through no fault of your own, with a neurodivergent emotional processing unit incapable of introducing empathy into your data sink)

    7:11 AM, Jul 18, 2022
  • Something to read as I peed,
    This was what you were to me.
    Something to do as I would pooh,
    My only other use for you.
    Now, I've got no use at all.
    I'd rather sit there in the stall
    Without a bloody thing to read.
    So, run along now, @Twitter feed.

    10:05 AM, Jul 12, 2022
  • The course of life, on my marksheet
    Will it be scored as incomplete
    When I go?

    5:59 AM, May 25, 2022
  • Will the gravestone's engraving
    Read, "Stark fucking raving"
    When I go?

    5:23 AM, May 3, 2022
  • Bee tee dubs, up to three verses on the hypothetical poem I'm not writing…

    Will the crows
    Eat my toes
    When I go?

    Will the smile
    Last awhile
    When I go?

    Will Peter per apostolate
    Yell, "fuck your feelings!" at the gate
    When I go?

    6:41 PM, May 2, 2022
  • Will Peter per apostolate
    Yell, "fuck your feelings!" at the gate
    When I go?

    4:58 PM, May 2, 2022
  • Picking up from yesterday's hypothetical poetic fart, a hypothetical second verse:

    Will the smile
    Last awhile
    When I go

    9:48 AM, Apr 27, 2022
  • Where I entertaining poetic farts today, it's highly likely one would be titled When I Go and it would start out all:

    Will the crows
    Eat my toes
    When I go?

    10:30 AM, Apr 26, 2022
  • If less is more, then more is less
    Distinction rendered meaningless
    An alternative, does 'or' express
    So why the f$&k say more or less?

    9:46 AM, Mar 29, 2022
  • Why do moths come out at night
    So fixated upon the light
    If what they truly seek is bright
    Then why the f$&k come out at night

    7:52 PM, Mar 26, 2022
  • Without those crows outside my home
    To whom what Murphy leaves is thrown
    I'd surely feel much more alone
    Whilst sitting here inside my home

    9:50 AM, Mar 26, 2022
  • Bleeding heart… and farts
    This is what I have for you
    Now I’ve aged passed 42
    What am I now? F$&k 44
    Balls hanging nearer to the floor
    Than ever they have done before
    Hair that made the ladies stare
    Has fled now from the top my head
    To live within my ears instead.

    6:15 AM, Dec 25, 2021
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