On Raging Bulls

Loving your Trump+ routine, Lindsey. You go get yourself that Trump 2022 base. Okay, hold on, are all y’all at MSNBC rope-a-doping Lindsey? Better let me know now, if so, before someone finally gets around to showing Mr. Graham the future I have chosen to write for him.

I have something I want you to think about, Lindsey.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Now, Lindsey, if a small group of committed citizens are capable of changing the world, what … do you suppose … might a raging bull of a committed citizen be capable of should attentions turn to changing a nation?

Oh thank Christ, you had me worried for a moment that you might go the other way and that would totally f$&k up everything I have left to say.

And it starts with this, Lindsey, I learned something watching you beat that dead Trump. I am sure we are all familiar with some form of the following:

(Breakfast Club MF, ♫ A A A A ♫ Oooohoohoooohyeeeeahhh):

And sure as sh$t, Lindsey, it is a bad idea to come at a bull. He will immediately f$&k you up. Like you aren’t you anymore f$&k you up.

“How is any of that relevant?”, you ask. It’s coming, Lindsey. Be patient. First, I want to tell you about the off-ramp you just blew right by (did Moscow Mitch not signal? Maybe he wanted you to miss your exit).

Well I can just tell ya what he found upon exiting … his 2022 base. He f$&kin’ played everybody (sigh apparently. I was saying all week the only thing that could prevent tearing down the GOP in its entirety is the pivot. Just me and Mitch I guess).

Anyway, Mitch has himself set up nicely for grabbing all those centrists been unregistering with your reality rejectionist platform. His position is too good (f$&kin’ as of that speech) to not bring enough back with his new platform. (Which, incidently, was the reason I wanted witnesses called. I wanted to get to them first. But y’all thought a piece of paper was important … when you will literally be able to watch what occured that day as easily as we all watched in real-time for generations to come).

But you, bud? I could almost … almost … just sit back, and watch. I certainly could if my side were budgeable from the perpetual tribalism they have come to embrace that is poisoning our progress.

And now, Lindsey Graham we reach the part where I get to let you in on why I been talkin’ bull. It’s because I wanted to tell ya something I learned recently. I learned that bulls needn’t be provoked all at once. No red flag need be waved.

You wouldn’t know it to look at ‘em; but, Lindsey, bulls are actually quick learners with great memories. The pestering, the mildy annoying jaw wagging of a man unaware of his own insignificance (I own mine ┌П┐(ಠ_ಠ) Lindsey) … these stack up. And each time you add to that stack, Lindsey, you take your addition out of that bull’s patience. Such perturbulances (felt like making up a word) erode the bull’s patience … slowly … over time (not unlike what happened with your moral center).

Until one day … Lindsey … you almost needn’t have said … nor done … anything at all.

So I’m in. Challenge accepted. Gauntlet tossed. I will take that bet Lindsey. I will change this f$&king nation. Which, incidentally, is how I get to write your f$&kin’ future. Holler, Jaime Harrison, if you’d like the advance copy.

Jason Cardwell @Moondeer