#Pfft

#LivinThatOldLadyLife

Side note: I don't mind mentions, if you want my attention.

Something to read as I peed,
This was what you were to me.
Something to do as I would pooh,
My only other use for you.
Now, I've got no use at all.
I'd rather sit there in the stall
Without a bloody thing to read.
So, run along now, @Twitter feed.

I thought of doing an essay on the broken bits of Twitter's platform (the censorship scale to followers count, the rampant abuse of reporting (with copy/paste appeal judgements), merritless (yet privileged) verification); but, no one would read it (least of all @TwitterSupport).

Anyone who thinks vaping nicotine is as damaging as smoking it hasn't the first f$&king clue what a circuit including both med ball slams and the battle rope would have done to my body's oxygen level had I not traded smoke for vapor fifteen years ago—so, suck on that.

ヽ( •_)ᕗ

The theme of today's workout wardrobe is wrinkled 'n' relevant. #January6thCommitteeHearings

That don't seem right.

#Placation

Anyone got data on gun deaths (say for 2020 or 2021) that theoretically may have been prevented were the measures enacted by the bill Biden signed already active?

#LastYearToday

#FuckYouTwoTimes @TwitterSupport

#LastYearToday

#FuckYou @TwitterSupport

#LastYearYesterday

#LastYearToday

'Cause I'm going going back back to…

If I wanted to burn the house down (she doesn't get my humour). Just typing this for the screenshot made me a little nervous.

#LastYearToday

#LastYearToday

#LastYearToday

#LastYearToday

#LastYearToday

At some point, it may become more remarkable to have our meteorologists mention surprisingly average temperatures rather than record highs and lows.

Jolene … FFS … it was Jolene.

The mind mashup while preparing Murphy's meds (these usually kick off with lyrics improvised out of the medication names in the mode of Weird Al): �—The World is a Vampire—Crucify (where � is that little hussy who took @DollyParton's man whose name sure as sh$t ain't Nadine).