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  • If I slipped away as I slept
    Having just good and properly wept
    It might just be nice
    To put me on ice
    Having realized I’d looked where I’d leapt

    8:49 AM, Jun 2, 2024
  • May wanna stop with the back patting soon in order to double fist that umbrella in the face of the shit storm ‘bout to roll in (lookin’ at anyone that ever thought they’d actually see a debate).

    6:11 AM, Jun 1, 2024
  • Also, when are we adding the fingerbone articulation via neuro implant to the wing suits?

    9:42 AM, May 31, 2024
  • I want to cuddle with a flying fox and I want to do it upside down.

    9:29 AM, May 31, 2024
  • When there are tears, accompanied by self talk like “I can’t believe I did that. I don’t know what to do,” the initial impression is one of crisis and one may reliably expect this impression to layout the lines and label the numbers by which any response may be painted.

    8:47 AM, May 31, 2024
  • Perhaps some kind of timeout is warranted every time bother trying to watch your coverage and fail to learn anything.

    7:50 AM, May 31, 2024
  • Thank you, Delicious in Dungeon episode 22

    10:40 AM, May 30, 2024
  • This fucking metronome is broken. It is loud. It won’t cut off. Worst bit is the goddamn thing’s been hardcoded to 60 BPM.

    7:38 AM, May 30, 2024
  • Like a plucked porcupine

    7:25 AM, May 30, 2024
  • Not long now

    4:57 PM, May 29, 2024
  • If you cannot seek to find something for which to birth an honest apology by sifting through the hot mess to take ownership of something uncomfortable, you will never even know you are sorry.

    11:59 AM, May 29, 2024
  • When you are the fucking crazy one for assuming this was a mistake and having the goddamn nerve to ask across half the house whether the Mueller Report was within recollection for the patient woman who’d already mentioned the name Mueller, once, pre-move while seeking to secure home insurance.

    8:21 AM, May 29, 2024
  • When she wants to kill herself but she’s scared.

    7:46 PM, May 28, 2024
  • Screenshot stitching for capturing scrollable content and conversations… did I just invent YAFAICGAFA?

    4:13 PM, May 28, 2024
  • I might’ve been cute, humorous or sophisticated but for lack of bandwidth. Instead, I’ll simply tell you, Siri, to be better. This is an accidental-meat-finger-exchange I need like I would a hole in the head… or long COVID with a penchant for neuropyrography.

    9:01 AM, May 28, 2024
  • Mm sawree bowt it buddee but I had ta take abreak
    Myfuk kinhead iz writin’ country wisle mydykkit micturates

    4:38 PM, May 27, 2024
  • I will be okay
    When what’s locked away today
    Can come the fuck out

    3:20 PM, May 27, 2024
  • Christ, y’all poor f$&kers still landing on my blog out of the help center are being lured into reading that shitshow of a bio laid by yesteryear Moondeer.

    12:00 PM, May 27, 2024
  • When you are all “I should just die” and she is all “ yes you should it will make things easier.”

    11:03 AM, May 27, 2024
  • Kaiju No. 8 makes me cry

    9:06 AM, May 25, 2024
  • Reason #422 that I will not be your prototypical client:

    Let’s say you’re my gym. You’ve been working with me for quite a while. You haven’t seen me for months (when the bottom drops out you become low priority). I finally decide to come back in today… 25 lbs lighter w/o 6.8% of my fat.

    7:23 AM, May 22, 2024
  • The way y’all are losing your minds out here over Chick-fil-a, I am guessing the memo never made it to the Bay Area about their faith-based homophobia (they are closed on Sundays, FFS). You may as well be lining up for a sit down at Cracker Barrel.

    5:57 AM, May 21, 2024
  • Fuckin’ Jeff Buckley

    11:07 AM, May 20, 2024
  • 7:33 PM, May 19, 2024
  • When she says she’s actively looking for ways to kill herself because of your poor mental health.

    6:41 AM, May 19, 2024
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